An Auto-Ethnodramatic Study of the Lived Experiences of Becoming a Mother Via Anonymous Egg Donation

Abstract

Abstract This auto-ethnodramatic study investigated the experiences of becoming a mother via anonymous egg donation. Few studies have explored the experience of women who become pregnant with donor eggs; women who both embody and disrupt the dominant narrative of motherhood by not being genetically related to the children they nurture. The study presents vignettes informed by performance practices and auto-ethnography that interrogate my struggles as the recipient of donor eggs, including: travelling for fertility treatment in the United States where egg donors are paid, in comparison to Canada where remuneration beyond basic expenses is a criminal offense; relinquishing my privacy regarding my infertility and use of donor eggs; worrying about the physical/mental health of young egg donors; navigating the rights of donor-conceived children to know their genetic progenitors versus the donor’s right to anonymity; and facing the difficult decision regarding what to do with leftover embryos. I drew upon my experience interpreting and performing scripted dialogue as a professional actor, reflexive journaling, personal artifacts and memories, online discussion forums, and the extant literature. Live performance and discussion of personal stories create educational spaces for medical and nursing students and their professors, parents in donor conception support groups, and the general public, troubling social stigmas surrounding women’s reproductive bodies, infertility, and assisted reproduction. Respectful, empathetic dialogue can encourage participants to push against the rigid structures of the heteronormative family and discover their own stories of self, family, and belonging. These stories can be used to advocate for more dignified and compassionate practices within the fertility industry for donors, parents, and most especially the children we are so eager to love.