Writing Lives, Writing Loss: An autoethnography on the death of a teammate
This project began as a memorial to an athlete who died of cancer, and ended as a journey through grief. The focus of my research is to explore through an autoethnography of loss, how the death of a young athlete is experienced and how as an athlete, I make sense of loss outside of sport. Visiting and revisiting spaces of loss and grief in sport allowed me to explore more deeply my personal histories as fragmented stories of grief. Through autoethnography and meta-autoethnography, this research seeks to uncover the meanings that reside in grieving in sport, examining the language we use to talk about death and loss in a culture of grief shrouded with stories of heroics and feel-good narratives. As I continue on my grief journey, I negotiate and re-negotiate the meanings I have constructed in my experiences. I will continue to do that as I venture through life and navigate the texts, searching to find balance between writing lives and writing loss.